You probably would have heard this a zillion times but my opinions are still different, I believe.
I still can’t believe there’s less than a month left and we’re stepping into our first year of being married to each other and apparently haven’t killed each other yet (patting my back). I mark this as a milestone. It is only a year and there’s a long way to go before everything changes and settles down at a pace.
I am not an expert yet but I wanted to share my thoughts on how it is like to be married in mid-twenties and how life completely changes when you take the major life decision. I had the same perspective as every single human before marriage. I am not going to burst your bubble or shatter your dreams. I thought it might help someone who has different ideas on this.
Here are the things that are most likely to happen in the first year of your marriage:
1. Identity crisis. It is, weird
The first few months are honestly weird. There is a phase when we have to introduce each other to friends, colleagues and acquaintances. Once, when he went on introducing me as his wife, I was utterly lost for a while and then came the moment of realisation, ‘Oh! Yeah, that’s me‘. I bet it has or might happen to you as well.
2. Sharing is (s)caring
Being a single child, I was the queen in my own kingdom. Monetary matters are the deal. Sharing money is scary. But with marriage comes the responsibilities (Aargh!). The responsibilities will make you feel grown-up, but deep down the associated problems with budgeting, fair spending and saving can be a headache for the first few months.
In my case, we both are considerate and adapted to it wisely. But consider this a warning and be prepared.
3. You survive on schedule
I have never given much thought about chores. I was one lazy bum, scratching my ass on the couch all day in spite of my parents’ constant nagging to get things done. Maybe it’s the karma or it happens to everyone, I’ll let you decide.
Currently, we have an itinerary for who’s turn it is for washing dishes to deciding who cooks to choosing a movie… (the list goes on). Anyway, you’ll never stick to it.
4. Satisfying two families’ obligations
I haven’t fulfilled any obligations concerned with my parents. Now, you have two families to satisfy. It is a nightmare! There will be lots of expectations from both sides targeting you and you should be prepared to tackle it like a pro. It is hard but eventually, you’ll get used to it in the coming years.
5. First fights
First fights are odd and surprising at the same time. You will see the person’s other side which is entirely new to you. The first major argument might even make you think, ‘What have I gotten myself into?‘ but do not worry as that too shall pass. But the revival after the first fight might also yield you many favours such as presents for compensation, going out to your favourite restaurants and getting precisely whatever you ask for.
6. You will feel old
For the initial few months, there will be one common question running in your head 24/7, ‘Am I actually married? Am I?!‘. By the end of the first anniversary, you might feel like a decade has passed and the enthusiasm from the sources around you will slowly dissolve. But it’s all about you two, the first year anniversary is pretty magical. You have survived the whole year.
7. Wondering about your decision
You will question your decision at one point but you’ll eventually have the answer. If you have gotten through the first year then trust me, it is going to be hard but if you have each other’s backs, everything will be sorted.
Idea inspiration: Duncan Lindsay
I hope you find this post useful! If you have experienced anything that I haven’t mentioned, please feel free to share it in the comments below.